4/5 Archives - Hey Poor Player

Simulacra Review (Switch)

Dec 4, 2019 196

Then who was phone? sim·u·la·crum /ˌsimyəˈlākrəm,ˌsimyəˈlakrəm/ noun 1. an image or representation of someone or something. “a small-scale simulacrum of a skyscraper” 2. an unsatisfactory imitation or substitute. “a bland simulacrum of American soul music” 3. a shell of a former human absorbed into an eerie digital presence. “Anna…

Tools Up! Review (PC)

Dec 2, 2019 511

Home Renovated Home HGTV makes home renovations seem so easy — tear down a few walls, install some quartz countertops, and suddenly you have a house worthy of a magazine photoshoot — all under budget and done before you know it. It’s almost as if they spare no expense…

My Friend Pedro Review (Switch)

Nov 26, 2019 251

Bananas Foster Brutality My health was dangerously low. In the elevator shaft above me, four thugs clutching automatic weapons waited for me to make my ascent. With no cover to protect my fleshy bits from their imminent volley of hot lead, things weren’t looking good. That is…

Disgaea 4 Complete+ Review (PS4)

Nov 25, 2019 241

Nothing Fishy Here! Nippon Ichi Software has done pretty well when it comes to pampering both the latest (and arguably greatest) Disgaea title, Disgaea 5: Alliance of Vengeance, and the game that got the zany, Prinny-filled series started, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness. Unfortunately, for quite some time, NIS seemed to be…

Bee Simulator Review (PC)

Nov 22, 2019 302

This game is the bees knees! Okay, out of the gate, Bee Simulator is: not a simulator likely a kid’s game edutainment None of those are bad things, mind you, but since I went into this game blind, I was surprised to say the least. Anyways… Bee…

Synth Riders Review (PC)

Nov 14, 2019 334

Doesn’t Skip A Beat You’d be wrong to think Synth Riders is another Beat Saber clone. While Synth Riders shares a lot in common with its well-established all-dancing, all-light saber swinging sibling, its got a fair bit going for it to convince you to part with your hard-earned pennies.…