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Aug’s Lives Matter: Celebrating Gaming’s Top 9 Cyborgs

3. Mega Man

Mega-Man-Legacy-Collection

Alright, settle down! Put down your torches and your pitchforks; I know Capcom’s Blue Bomber doesn’t have a drop of blood coursing through his metallic frame. Even still, I feel like I’d be remiss to not mention Dr. Light’s iconic creation. After all, Mega Man’s ability to assimilate the abilities of the nefarious Robot Masters he destroys makes him a veritable Swiss Army knife of mechanized destruction. While his personal weapon, the Mega Buster, is already a handy enough tool for blasting the bolts out of his enemies, the power to shoot circular saw blades, napalm shots, and even shroud his frame in protective leaves make him one eclectic little android Dr. Wily just can’t keep down.

That said, there’s little wonder why fans are still clamoring for another numbered entry in the series nearly three decades after Mega Man’s 1987 debut. Developer Capcom hasn’t given the poor guy much love since Keiji Inafune left to head Comcept and create the game’s spiritual successor, Mighty No. 9 (read our review here). Here’s hoping Capcom revisits the series to give Mega Man one last hurrah in the near future.

2. Brad Fang (Contra: Hard Corps)

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If you’ve made it this far, you may be wondering who the hell Brad Fang is and what he’s doing sitting on the #2 spot of this list. Well, I’ll be happy to educate you. There are three very important things to note about Brad Fang that keep him near the zenith of our heap of digital cyborgs. Firstly, Brad is a werewolf. Secondly, Brad has a mini-gun for an arm. Lastly, Brad Fang sports a badass pair of wraparound shades, and he wears them at night. Contra: Hard Corps‘ resident lycanthrope is pretty much a veritable witch’s brew of 90’s awesomeness, and his wild appearance and penchant for making all things alien explode into smithereens makes him a legend to this day.

We can only hope Konami resurrects this fearsome fleabag for an upcoming Metal Gear Solid title. Just imagine Neo FOXHOUND’s robot-hound operative, Fang Hound. I’m sure it’d go something like that, anyway. And it would be goddamned glorious. Take my word for it.

1. Gray Fox (Metal Gear Solid)

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In the annals of video game cyborgs, none can hold a candle to Gray Fox. Born Frank Jaeger, this founding member of FOXHOUND cut his teeth on the battlefield as a child soldier. Once an ally of Solid Snake, the two ended up on opposite sides when Jaeger’s allegiance to Big Boss caused the two to fight to the death in Zanzibar Land. Snake proved victorious and Jaeger was presumed dead, only to resurface as Gray Fox during the Shadow Moses incident in Metal Gear Solid.

Kept alive by the life-support systems in his sleek exoskeleton and his undying desire to fight Snake one last time, Gray Fox systematically slices and dices through Liquid Snake’s Genome Army, even claiming the hand of Spetnatz gunslinger Revolver Ocelot as his own trophy. Gray Fox’s final mission even sees him going toe-to-toe with the nuclear-armed tank Metal Gear Rex in the base’s hanger, where he finally meets his messy demise under the mechanical beast’s hoof, but not before he unleashes a blast the destroys the machine’s radome, giving Snake the opportunity to bring the massive metal monster down once and for all. 

While we almost chose Metal Gear Solid‘s current cyber-ninja Raiden for the top spot,  we still haven’t forgotten his lackluster performance in Sons of Liberty. That said, Gray Fox reigns as our #1 cybernetic killing machine.

So, did we manage to leave out any of your favorite half-man, half-machine characters? As always, we’d love to hear which ones we missed, so be sure to let us know your picks in the comments section. Hell, we might even scrap some of our choices in favor of your picks if we feel they deserve a spot on the list! 

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Frank has been the caffeine-fueled evil overlord of HeyPoorPlayer since 2008. He speaks loudly and carries a big stick to keep the staff of the HPP madhouse in check. A collector of all things that blip and beep, he has an extensive collection of retro consoles and arcade machines crammed into his house. Currently playing: Dodonpachi Dai-Ou-Jou (Arcade), Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove (Switch), Neo Turf Masters (Neo Geo)

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