Aug’s Lives Matter: Celebrating Gaming’s Top 9 Cyborgs

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Gaming's Top 9 Cyborgs


With the release of Deus Ex: Mankind Divided right around the corner, we here at Hey Poor Player think it’s about time we gave the many cybernetically-enhanced champions in gaming their due praise. After all, the Aug’s Lives Matter movement is in full swing. And being the bleeding pacemakers we are, we just had to shower some of our augmented heroes in the accolades they deserve. Here are 9 of our favorite figures in gaming who traded their in their precious flesh and bone in favor of some high-tech tools to save the day.


9. Nathan “Rad” Spencer (Bionic Commando)


Nathan “Rad” Spencer first swung onto the arcades and Nintendo Entertainment System back in the late 1980’s as a bionically-enhanced badass on a mission to take out Hitler. Apart from his totally tubular nickname, the most prominent feature of this shades-sporting super soldier is his left arm, which has been replaced with a grappling hook launcher. While we can’t help but think the allies might have been better off plunking down their cash to invest in some pneumatic legs for Spencer, who frustratingly lacks even the ability to jump, Bionic Commando‘s pendulous blend of pugilism and platforming have stuck with us for nearly 30 years, earning this hops-less hero our number 9 spot.

8. Barret Wallace (Final Fantasy VII)


The leader of the anti-Shinra resistance group known as Avalanche, Barret lost his right hand during the loss of his hometown to the game’s nefarious power company. Don’t feel sorry for him, though. While he might not be throwing any rippers across the Sector 7 playground’s home plate anytime soon, the burly guerrilla warrior has become something of a walking tank, replacing his mangled mitt with a mini-gun. Barret’s gun-arm and surly attitude make him the bane of even the most formidable of foes, allowing him to reduce hulking robots to scrap metal and corporate soldiers into twitching gristle, securing this monolithic menace a permanent place in our party.

That’s not to say Barret is all swearing and explosions. He also has quite the soft spot for his young daughter Marlene, and would do anything to protect her from harm.

7. Dr. Zan (Streets of Rage III)


Serving as a replacement for Streets of Rage 2′s mighty professional wrestler Max Thunder, Dr. Gilbert Zan fills the musclebound void Max leaves in the group with a supercharged fighting style that’s rivaled only by the mean soup strainer suspended from his upper lip. This former Syndicate scientist turned street vigilante fights crime with his extending arms, which can fry even the baddest of hoodlums with thousands of volts of electricity. As if that didn’t make him a handy enough (pun intended) addition to the team, his rocket-powered dashes and the ability to effectively turn his entire body into a nuclear-powered bug zapper makes Zan a force to be reckoned with.

Frank has been the caffeine-fueled evil overlord of HeyPoorPlayer since 2008. He speaks loudly and carries a big stick to keep the staff of the HPP madhouse in check. A collector of all things that blip and beep, he has an extensive collection of retro consoles and arcade machines crammed into his house. Currently playing: Chorus (XSX), Battlefield 2042 (XSX), Xeno Crisis (Neo Geo)

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