Pack up the van and prepare to shred the stage at Kaer Morhen
CD Projekt Red threw everything but the kitchen sink into the mix when crafting The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. Seriously, the game has it all; Epic battles with massive monsters? Check. Join a merry band of thespians and try your hand on the stages of Novigrad? Sure thing. Wanton sex and violence? You’ve got it. Looking to embrace your inner botanist and cultivate every herb in the kingdoms? Have at it! Hell, you can even swig tankards of potent booze middle battle, turning the fiercest of skirmishes into a swirling montage of color and carnage akin to a bath salt-fueled Phish concert bender.
That said, one of the only things you can’t do in the latest entry in the Witcher saga is hit the road with the band, traveling the realm and performing face-melting concerts the bards will sing of for eternity. Well, one retailer must not have gotten the message, as their packaging for the game invites players to “Play with a guitar controller or expand to a band”.
We can only imagine the crushing disappointment players will feel when they head out on their journey down the dusty roads of White Orchard only to discover their dreams of founding Drowner Pool, Ciri & The Full Effect and Black Orchard are all for naught.
So, have you stumbled across any of these mislabeled cases when shopping at your local Best Buy? Got a clever Witcher-inspired band name you planned to use before suffering crushing disappointment after discovering your plastic axe would go unused in Kaer Morhen’s 3rd annuald Battle of the Bands? Sound off in the comments section below.