The Missing Logs: Dead Space

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Supplemental Text Log, USG Kellion

Mission: Repair of the USG Ishimura, Aegis VII Orbit

Issac Clarke, 3rd Tier Engineer

 

00:03:15 – This whole thing has gone to shit already, though I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m doing my best to fix things (like our shuttle), but Kendra and Hammond won’t let me get a fucking word in edgewise. Never gonna see Nicole at this rate.

 

00:4:41 – Hacked a door for Kendra to get into the flight lounge. What a fucking dump.

 

00:05:24 – WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT?

 

00:06:11 – Locked in an elevator. Something just tried to murder me with a bone-scythe-dick thing.

 

00:09: 03 – Seriously? Fuck this ship. My girlfriend is DEAD. I am SO outta here.

 

00:10:39 – I see by the graffiti on the wall here that the locals thought along similar lines.

 

00:12:37 – Okay. Sever the limbs huh? Weird but I’ll try it.

 

00:15:28 – Okay, I did it. But now I’m out of Plasma. Maybe I can grab some from this vending machine.

 

00:19:05 – What the fuck, man!? I can hack the door but not the online store? I am a WORTHLESS engineer.

 

00:21:13 – And the shuttle is toast. Gotta find something to use to get off this boat, maybe another shuttle –  I mean there’s gotta be one, look at all these bays! Tried to tell Hammond but he’s all ‘we can’t abandon the mission.’ Idiot. We need off of this ship, like, yesterday. But there’s no telling these USG guys anything. Won’t even let you speak up.

 

00:24:38 – Unbelievable, I am now unable to hack anything, but suddenly Kendra can? Man, DOUBLE FUCK this ship. We are royally screwed.

 

00:31:23 – Need Executive codes apparently – can get them from the cap’n, OR his corpse. Don’t care at this point. Once we have em, we can go where we want. Okay, Kendra. Maybe I’m less angry at you now.

 

51:00:41 – Nope, still mad at Kendra. Had to fight through a horde of fetal monsters and got the codes, but most of the doors are still locked and my hacking training has failed me. They’re going to take my union card from me when I get home for sure.

 

01:45:03 – Orbit is decaying. I fail to see the problem. Let this ship burn up. Cause man, screw this ship or trying to explore it. Nicole is SO dead. Kendra and Hammond still won’t let me say anything helpful like suggesting we look for another shuttle. They just shout at each other like I’m not even on the comm.

 

01:57:15 – Go get the engines online, Issac. Go fix the gondolas, Issac. Go kill the Necromorphs, Issac. I better get fucking hazard pay for this.

 

02:13:39 – Finally have enough money from these dead bastards to buy new weapons and ammo.

 

02:15:00 – All out of ammo for the new weapons. God. Dammit.

 

02:42:18 – No one ever lets me talk! Hammond just shot a live Necromorph out in an escape pod, then monologued for a full minute. At least he’s sending me to fix some stuff.

 

02:34:19 – Dick move, Hammond. He’s the one with all the combat training but I got to fight some huge THING on the bridge while he gets to stay behind and look at a monitor. I’m gonna have to buy a new suit – this one is irrevocably soaked in shit and urine now.

 

03:00:34 – Just got into the asteroid defense system. Even this new suit is shit. Sixty seconds of air to run to another airlock while dodging asteroids.

 

03:04:56 – I would give ANYTHING to be dodging asteroids and asphyxiating as opposed to shooting down big fucking rocks in this shitty, manually-overridden gunnery chair that I CAN’T REPAIR BACK INTO FUNCTIONALITY. WHY DOES EVERYONE ELSE TRY TO DO MY JOB!

 

04:57:12 – I just tried to upgrade my weapons. How many power nodes will it take until I can effectively upgrade this gear to put the hurt on these fucking things?

 

05:09:57 – Poison. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Let’s poison these fucking things. Best idea Kendra’s ever had. She says everything I need is in med bay. Good thing I cleared that place out.

 

05:11:13 – Fuck me. They’re EVERYWHERE again and now there’s this vomitous thing on the wall trying to kill me.

 

05:27:00 – I think I found a survivor! Getting a transmission and… fuck. He’s a Unitologist cultist. FML.

 

05:56:09 – Great. If the Unitologist hadn’t voided the entire deck after I synthesized our poison I could have grabbed all of that ammo. The Necromorphs didn’t help either. I feel like someone is taunting me. Like this is all some big game or something.

 

06:01:17 – Just realized something… who’s cleaning up the bodies after me? Med bay is clean again- well apart from all of the blood and graffiti written in gore and entrails. I had this place loaded with dead Necromorphs and… they’re all gone now. Never sleeping again.

 

06:34:52 – Found Hammond again. As always, it’s always about him and what I can do for him. Then again, he IS dying of oxygen deprivation. Guess I’ll have to clean out whatever’s screwing up life support in hydroponics…

 

06:45:09 – Found a new kind of Necromorph. I like these guys. I can stomp on them until they die and they don’t fight back. Of course, they ARE poisoning the O2 supply. But, I think the other Necromorphs could take a page from these guys. Make my life a lot easier.

 

06:59:03 – Oh good – there’s big old fat ones that are slow as fuck. C’mere, fat boy. Meet my line gun…

 

06:59:46 – Not. Fair. These things are NOT allowed to be pregnant. [sound of flamethrower for thirty seconds]

 

07:00:07 – Aaaand, I need another suit.

 

07:42:09 – Hey, Hammond. I just fought a giant space vagina with fanged flagella. The fighting is YOUR job. You get the next one.

 

07:43:12 – Hammond?

 

07:43:31 – Oh, fuck you, Hammond. Just like you to run. Worst soldier ever. This mission is doomed. Nobody sticks to their duties. As usual, I’ll clean up your mess.

 

07:54:09 – Okay, finally, someone wants to call for help. How hard can it be to launch a distress signal? I mean we heard the one from the Ishimura before – if we hadn’t we wouldn’t even be out here…

 

08:13:41 – Fucking cockamamie asteroid plan. Just launch that beacon any other way, it doesn’t have to be this difficult! But, as usual with the Kellion’s crew it’s alllll about Kendra. There’s no talking to these people.

 

08:50:37 – Found another suit schematic. Which is good, because this one is covered in blood now. Most of it is mine after that goddamned asteroid launch madness. Why couldn’t we just hack the gravity controllers? Aren’t we living in the fucking future? This manual control bullshit sucks.

 

09:04:27 – Comms array are busted. Okay. Finally, Kendra says I get to fix something instead of blowing it up or killing things that look like an H.R. Giger wet dream.

 

09:09:52 – Oh COME THE FUCK ON! Can’t I just fix something?! [Stasis blasts and pulse rifle bursts heard for the next three minutes]

 

09:57:01 – Okay, the array is online again and I need yet another suit. But, there’s good news and bad news. Good news: they Valor got our signal. Bad news: they also got the escape pod with the live fucking Necromorph in it. Thanks, Hammond. ‘Preciate that.

 

10:22:23 – The ‘rescue’ boat, Valor crashed into us because of the ‘morph Hammond sent them as a thank you gift. Dropped nuclear deuce all over the place. Nuclear disposal though is something I can do – though I’d rather not. It’d be nice if the Necromorphs would freaking let me do it.

 

10:31:23 – Onboard the Valor. It’s good to be off the Ishimura. Fuck that ship. This has GOT to be better.

 

10:32:47 – Nope. Fuck this ship too. Not only did one morph manage to convert the ENTIRE CREW, but they took over Stasis equipped soldiers and figured out how to use the units to be super fast. But, of course, we need a singularity unit to power the shuttle Hammond found after taking credit for MY IDEA TO FIND A SHUTTLE. So I get to wade through blood and guts until I fetch them their doodad.

 

10:57:09 – Got the unit after almost frying myself into a crisp. But, wait – finally, Hammond! Maybe he can help me with this whole killing aliens thing.

 

10:58:01 – God. Dammit. For a soldier he went down like a three dollar whore. Guess it’s my job to kill this fucking thing.

 

11:00:02 – Another survivor who wants something. Great. Just great. This doc won’t let me talk either! He just wants stuff from me! I’M NOT YOUR SLAVE!

 

11:07:34 – Is it wrong that my dead girlfriend is the only one who seems to care about me? And even SHE won’t let me get a word in.

 

11:34:56 – I’m siding with doctor crazypants. He at least seems to have a fucking plan. Let’s get that marker down to the planet and call it a day.

 

11:50:01 – Holy shit! A z-ball court! It even works despite having shot the place up to clear out these ‘morphs in here. I think I’ll set down and play for a bit.

 

13:02:59 – Ah. That was nice. I could stay here forever, but Kendra and Dr. Kyne and my almost-certainly dead girlfriend keep comming me. Guess I had to go back sometime.

 

13:04:32 – For god’s sake, can’t you at least wait until I’m back in the main area!!! Would you jump in my grave that fast you fucking ‘morph bastard?

 

13:04:45 – You thrive on corpses. Of COURSE you would. Just answered my own question.

 

13:46:02 – Okay, Kyne is alright. He’s a little twitchy, but he sees his dead girlfriend too. I think we’ll be good friends once the Marker is loaded up and sent back planetside.

 

14:32:14 – Okay, it’s all loaded into the shuttle. Things are finally looking up.

 

14:35:01 – Kendra, you miserable witch. No wonder you never let me talk, you needed time for your lies.

 

14:42:01 – Dead girlfriend for the win. Shuttle recalled. Who’s got the marker now, huh? Huh? TEAM DEAD GIRLFRIEND FOR THE WIN!

 

14:45:01 – Of course, uh… this means I have to take it down there? Why not just crash the shuttle planetside, Nicole? Oh well, what dead girlfriend wants, dead girlfriend gets.

 

15:01:34 – Fuck this outpost.

 

15:05:42 – Fuck this outpost HARD.

 

15:43:12 – Okay, Kendra, take some time to gloat. You’ve earned it. Not shocked by the dead girlfriend revelation – something you’d know if you EVER READ OR LISTENED TO ANY OF MY LOGS.

 

15:47:09 – Lot of ammo lying around. Don’t like the sound of this.

 

15:56:59 – HAH! HAH!!! That’s what you get you traitorous shit! Fuck Kendra up, hive mind, fuck her… oh SHIT. [seven minutes of sustained gunfire and unintelligible obscenity follow]

 

16:16:16 – Dammit. All out of suits and there’s all of this blood and alien slime, and again, my shit reservoir is full. Fuck it. I’m tired and I’m getting the hell off this planet.

 

16:19:01 – Well, it’s over now. Everybody dead except me, and Nicole is gone for good this time. I’ll just take this helmet off, have a breather, and check that noise I hear banging around in the cockpit with m- [sounds of struggle]

 

16:20:02 [—Broadcast Mute DISENGAGED—]

 

LOG ENDS

 

Burtacamoose
Burtacamoose is a guy that likes to write. Whenever someone will let him, or better yet pay him, he’ll write. Sometimes, he even blathers on at his own site, ossua.com, between writing his novels and short stories. As a member of the thirty-something generation of gamers, he enjoys retro-titles, platformers, RPGs, shooters, puzzles, word games, and things that are flat out weird. He has been writing for HeyPoorPlayer since early 2011. Favorite Game: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

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