Not Including Ports (Sorry Goat Simulator)
The iOS game market is over-saturated with Minecraft ripoffs, games where the winner usually has more money to throw away, and ports of better games most people have played before. I’m here today to tell you about 5 iOS games in no particular order that aren’t completely bad.
Hambo is kinda like Angry Birds, only you play as a pig with guns and you don’t fling yourself at the enemies to kill them. Instead you use your various weapons and the environment to find the best way to take down your opponents. The game takes a sudden difficulty spike however when they introduce Bacon, a useless “ally” character that you cannot let die or else you’ll immediately fail the mission. I’ve lost so many levels because that stupid pig couldn’t find a less dangerous spot to be Placed. But difficulty spike aside, Hambo is a good puzzle-shooter game that’ll keep you either entertained, or screaming bloody murder at a poorly implemented ally character.
4. Naughty Kitties
Naughty kitties is one part endless runner, one part tower defense, with a healthy dose of cats added because… Well its in the title. Basically you have to keep a ship flying for as long as possible, using various cats, each with unique abilities to fend off enemy ships and mines, broken by the occasional boss battle. The game does feature micro-transactions, but its not really done in a “play to win” sense. You can buy fish that can be used to evolve your cats and use the vending machine, but fish can also be earned in game and you have the option to pay for vending machine items by watching a 30 second video instead. Naughty kitties is a fun game if your looking to kill some time, and by some time I of course mean a lot, especially if you watch those trailers.
3. Food Battle The Game
Regardless of if you like Smosh or not, Food Battle the game is a surprisingly well done game. You play as Anthony in a top down adventure game as you set out to destroy an army of doughnuts using various food based weapons. Optional weapons can be bought and upgraded in an in game store using ingredients and coins found in game, but randomized ingredients can also be bought in game using micro transaction items. It doesn’t hinder the game that much, in fact it punishes micro-transaction users in a way. “Oh you bought all those crystals hoping to get an ingredient you need right? Well here’s ten things of corn, thanks for your money, come again!” Fans of Smosh will find enjoyment in the various references and appearances by familiar characters, while others should find enjoyment in the action-adventure gameplay that works surprisingly well on a tablet.
2. Fist Of Awesome
You are a lumberjack whose hand has been possessed by a powerful spirit and your tasked with a mission to save mankind by traveling throughout time and punching bears. If that sentence did to invoke any sort of positive reaction from you, then you are a heartless individual. Fist of Awesome is a 2-D side-scrolling beat-em up game with a retro game look and feel to it, while incorporating an enjoyable story and humor on par with Borderlands 2. There’s also an arena mode were you can play as various other characters and see how many enemies you can defeat before a timer runs out, but best of all, NO MICROTRANSACTIONS! That’s right, this game doesn’t suck the money out of your wallet, pay once and that’s it. Fist of Awesome is a great iOS game that has a great soundtrack, a decent story, good humor, and for crying out loud its a game about punching bears. Heck, why are you still reading this?! Go and buy Fist of Awesome, I’ll wait for you to get back before I list the last game.
1. School Idol Festival
Don’t let the cutesy anime vibes scare you away, School Idol Festival is a good game. The game is based on the Japanese multimedia phenomenon, Love Live. Its a rhythm game that has you putting together a team of high school pop stars and improving them through practice. There’s also a story mode but its mainly there as a means of unlocking more songs. There are micro transactions, but the game does them right. You can use love gems (earned both in game and bought with micro-transactions) to continue songs if you fail, renew your ability to play songs, and purchase better “honor student” idols. However, the points used to play songs are steadily restored after a couple minutes, and you can still scout more idols using friend points earned in game, and the rare characters have a slight chance of being recruited in this way as well. Plus the Love gems aren’t hard to come by either. The controls are simple and easy, the songs are catchy, and the characters are all like-able and entertaining in their own ways. School Idol festival is an odd game that nonetheless I found to be addicting and fun.
And was 5 iOS games that are actually kind of fun. I hope you enjoyed, and I’ll see you next time.